This morning as I was taking a refreshing suicide shower, I casually glanced down to see a ginormous spider rapidly crawling up my leg. When I say ginormous, I mean ginormous! So he wasn’t quite as big a tarantula, but he must have been a close cousin. I’m sure the poor guy was just trying to escape the flood of water he suddenly found himself in. This thought gave me no comfort, however, and I furiously began shaking my leg and screaming like a little girl in a feeble attempt to dislodge my unwelcome guest. This commotion simply increased his resolve and he began climbing even faster! About the time time he reached my knee, I decided further action was warranted and I began flailing wildly at the beast. He reached mid thigh hight when one of my desperate swings finally made contact and down he went! He then commenced running around the shower trying in vain to scale the slick tiled walls. I watched for several moments and splashed water on him whenever he got uncomfortably close, before finally deciding to end his mortal existence. This was done quickly (and hopefully painlessly) with the bottom of a large bottle of conditioner. Don’t tell Hannah I used her conditioner as an instrument of death. Also, don’t tell Karen about this whole episode, she already has enough to worry about without being scared to take a shower.
By the way… the photo is not of the actual spider.
Jeez. Between you and Hannah I really want to go to Costa Rica now! Not to mention Rachel Glassford telling me about these flies that lay their eggs in mosquitoes, then the mosquitoes lay the eggs under your skin so it swells up with a larva growing inside! They only live in DAMP HUMID PLACES. Yeah. But they don't hurt you. You just go to the doctor and put something on your skin so they have to come out. Gross, but it's not like it causes you any real harm. I think I'll stay home and skip the rainforest and volcanoe and larva and cockroaches and mold experiences…..